What is a Troll?
NOTE: There are many definitions of what a troll is:
Here are a few of them;
These are not my definitions,
mine will be at the end of the others.
- A dwarf or giant inhabiting caves or hills. Ugly, powerful and generally
dangerous human like creatures, but stupid and naive.
- Trolls were believed to be giants, and the biggest of them all was
Dovregubben (their king in the mountain Dovre). They were shaggy and
rough-haired, with trees and moss-like growth on their heads and noses,
their noses were long and they would stir with it when cooking broth or porridge.
Some even had two or three heads, some only had one eye in the middle of their
Their features differed from humans with four fingers and four toes
and a tail resembling that of a cow. The trolls lived to be hundreds of years
old, but would die and turn into stone if the sun caught them. They might have
looked frightening, but were actually often good natured and terribly naive, so
sly peasants would successfully trick them.
Their supernatural powers consisted among others of transforming themselves, for
instance into beautiful young ladies. Many hunters and farmers were such lured
into the mountains and captured, but the trolls could never hide their tails, if
you only could get to see them from behind you would know if the captivating
creature was a troll or just a beautiful shepardess.
- Encarta Concise Encyclopedia
A Troll, in Scandinavian mythology, powerful giant and enemy of humans. Trolls
lived in caves or in castles, robbing and eating travelers who strayed into their
domain after dark. Huge, hard-skinned, and virtually indestructible, trolls could
only be vanquished by sunlight, which would either turn them to stone or make
In later folklore, trolls committed specific acts of malice, such as stealing
maidens, and also began to develop semi magical powers such as prophecy and
shape-shifting. In children's stories, trolls often live beneath bridges,
harassing passersby and exacting tolls.
- Trolls are NOT the stupid little colorful-haired, pot bellied, figurines
people seem obsessed with buying. Ugh. Far from it, we're actually skulking,
sniveling, sneaking, devious, purveyors of mayhem and trickery. Physically,
trolls have been described in various ways, from J.R.R. Tolkein's huge engine of
near-mindless destruction, to the fairy tale troll in Three Billy Goats Gruff.
While some trolls do live under bridges, they are NOT part of Trondheim and
actually belong to a less well know UBU (Under the Bridge Union). They're rather
a pathetic lot, too, I might add. Personally, of all the humans who have
attempted to describe us, I think Elizabeth Boyar has come the closest. In her
book, The Sword and the Satchel, she even has a small scene involving Trondheim,
and some if it's lesser exploits. Interesting to say the least.
Mentally, trolls are as varied as the homo sapiens. Maybe a trifle slow, but
that's to be expected, now isn't it? I mean, really, all these sniveling humans
mucking up everything, it's to be expected some of us aren't exactly clear headed,
right? Anyway, as I was saying, varied. Some trolls are the voracious carnivores
detailed in all the usual literature, but there are exceptions. There are nearly
as many troll craftsmen, wizards, and honorable nobles as there are humans of the
Oh fine, I know what everyone really wants to know. I can hear you all asking it.
"But what do trolls look like?" Well, we're short, not so short as people like to
think, but short nonetheless. And we're hairy, not like a bear is hairy, but like
a warthog is hairy. Oh I know what you're all saying, "Ugly lot," right? Well
phooey on you, you slimy, pink, hairless humans, we think you're pretty nasty too.
Trolls tend to be stronger, pound for pound, than humans, but of course, being
smaller, we tend to come out...second best, in unarmed combat. But what we lack
in stature, we can make up for in sheer tenacity, voraciousness, and of course,
numbers. I mean, do you seriously expect me, I mean us, to fight you humans one
- Aaah, spring is here. The snow has melted, the tulips are in bloom, and by
listening closely one can hear the grating whine of newborn trolls.
Trolls are commonly disparaged by newsgroup denizens, but what have we
learned about this exasperating vermin?
The young troll, blind at birth, instinctively attempts to locate a safe
bridge by using sonar screeches which detect immovable or intolerant objects
in its path. Trolls tend to travel individually, but are often drawn to the
asinine utterings of other trolls.
Because trolls are both hideously ugly and remarkably stupid, they induce
feelings of extreme revulsion among intelligent creatures and so have a
survival rate of only about 3.6%.
The rare troll who does survive to maturity may be a formidable beast indeed,
as a mature troll often learns to cunningly mimic more rational beings. The
identifying characteristic of the mature troll is a use of malice both extreme
and gratuitous during its unwelcome and always unnecessary appearances. Mature
trolls tend to be irritable and need no provocation to attack.
Some trolls may be tamed, but they must be spoon-fed and require coddling to
control their unpredictable petulance. They bite when alarmed and make poor
Most experts recommend extermination of trolls, with opinions divided as to
whether use of the passive or the aggressive method is more effective. The
passive method requires simple neglect, which slowly starves the troll to
death. Proponents of the aggressive method swear by acute force applied to
the troll's cranium. One drawback to this tactic is the notorious density of
the troll head, which may necessitate several assaults to effect the desired
result; however, this method is reputed to be the most satisfying and so is
the most popular.
The severe troll infestation currently suffered by a.t.h. is likely due to
the disruption of weather patterns caused by El Nino. This allowed more of
the troll eggs to survive the winter.
I say we call the exterminator.
- My definition: I am working on this now . . .
Romeo's Castle | Credits | A Gothic Bedtime Story | Sad Tale of a Troll
The Trolls are Back | Chase's Troll Cave | Trollish Links
Three Billy Goats Gruff (A Play) | What is a Troll | About This Troll
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